1. Hannah: A Prayer with Pure Motives (1 Samuel 1-2)
Of all the examples of infertility, Hannah stands out with godliness at every turn. Like us, Hannah received no promise or prophecy of a child, and thus had no room to assume that God would provide her a child. Let’s learn what we can from her.
Hannah had a hard life; whatever the social stigma of barrenness, she had a deeper thorn in her flesh than that. In her own home, where many can hope to find comfort, Hannah received provocation, irritation, and affliction from her husband’s other wife (yeah, polygamy never produces a happy home). She experienced pain; she seemed to be angry, stressed, worried, and depressed. We can relate.
Dear woman, it is not wrong to cry sometimes. Your feelings are real. But we must take a lesson from Hannah and not allow ourselves to be swallowed up by our pain. The key to Hannah’s beauty is what she did with her distress.
The first thing she did was recognize the One who has power over conception; she believed in God’s sovereignty over her barrenness, and she did not take up her complaint with her husband. She went straight to the Lord.
Hannah’s prayer request was raw, and it revealed her true character. We read it in 1 Sam. 1:10-11.
“She, greatly distressed, prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. She made a vow and said, ‘O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and a razor shall never come on his head.’ ”
Hers was not a prayer of self-pity, though it acknowledged her hurt. She did not try to reason with the Lord, listing all the reasons she deserved to be a mother. Hannah knew her place as a servant before the Almighty, and she appealed to His grace for the child she so desperately wanted. Hers was a simple, pure, honest prayer.
Did you notice that this prayer was a vow? Hannah gave away her son before she had a son to give. Her heart was already dedicated to the service of God, and her desire for a child ultimately fell under her devotion to God. Oh, to have a heart like Hannah’s!
2. Elizabeth: A Sweet, Faithful Servant (Luke 1)
For being a wonderful example of righteous living, Elizabeth is not discussed much. Perhaps it is because not much detail is given of her infertility struggle; but it is in the lack of certain details that her beauty of character shines.
When Elizabeth and her husband Zacharias enter the scene, they are already old. It was too late for them. All those years of waiting and praying for a child, living from period to period, ended with their arms empty. They would never be parents.
Surely there was a sense of loss; after all, Zacharias had been praying for a child (vs. 13), and Elizabeth felt the disgrace that haunted the barren woman. But those are the only references in the text to any feelings the couple had; God’s focus was on what they did.
Both Zacharias and Elizabeth were described with the words righteous and blameless. They were not like the self-righteous Pharisees, but they worshipped God truly, living in a way that acknowledged His presence. They both lived in obedience. So, rather than describing her longing for children, God focused on Elizabeth’s sweet submission to His will as she settled into her undesired position.
After her hope had lain dormant for years, long after the prayer for children had departed from Zacharias’ lips, God answered their prayer—just at the right time. Dear woman, God is never late. We may look backward and think, “I would have a child already if I had conceived when I first wanted to”; but never distrust God’s timing.
Another wonderful piece of Elizabeth’s story is her response after becoming pregnant. She did not gloat; she did not shout out “Finally!” Take note: she hid herself for five months! Scholars have varied explanations for what that entails, but we can know that Elizabeth did not expect this blessing from God. She was surprised, perhaps with some doubt like Zacharias, but certainly with humble thankfulness toward God’s undeserved grace. In fact, she named her son “John” (at God’s command), which means “Jehovah has been gracious”.
From Elizabeth, we learn to wait well: as we wait in hope, settle into the plan God has for you now, serving with a sweet, sweet spirit.
3. Sarah: An Adoring Wife and Mother of Nations (Genesis 15-21)
Sarah’s story of infertility is a story of victory: not that she overcame her physical issue and eventually had a baby, but that she overcame her spiritual problem and developed an unshakable faith. Her testimony teaches us some wonderful lessons about womanhood.
The account of Abraham and Sarah is probably very familiar to you; so, use your imagination to erase the flannelgraph of an old woman holding a baby and replace it with an image of a beautiful, strong, intelligent, winsome woman. Meet Sarah. She was an aunt; likely, she treated nephew Lot more like a son, as Abraham did. But she was not a mother.
Ten years younger than Abraham and having grown up in the same home, Sarah probably developed that wide-eyed-little-sister respect for her older half-brother, who protected her, taught her, guided her, and loved her. (Please bear in mind that this was before God forbade marrying close relatives, and not far removed from Adam, the man created with perfect genes. There was nothing wicked or gross about Abraham marrying his half-sister.) Sarah submitted herself to her husband because it was right; and she adored him. She depended on his wisdom, listened to his counsel, rode on his faith, and learned to obey his instruction in a split second. Of course, Abraham, a godly man, treated his wife with respect as well; he did not oppress her, but gained her unquestioning loyalty.
Read through the Scripture: you will see Sarah’s sweet submission running through her narrative like a predictable motif in a pattern. She followed Abraham out of her comfortable city life; she agreed to call Abraham her brother wherever they went, at his request; she quickly jumped in on his act of hospitality with no warning.
If any woman should have been a mother of daughters, it was Sarah. What lessons of femininity she had to teach! What delightful mother-daughter dates she could have conjured up! What charm and humor she had to pass on! What adoring respect for a godly man she had to model!
Of course, we know that Sarah had no daughters. Only after 90 years, after her hope for children had taken its terminal blow many years before, God blessed Sarah with one son. She found humor in this amazing turn of her life story, inviting others into her joyful laughing and celebrating of God’s surprising gift. When her time came to be a mother, Sarah was not steeped in bitterness. She was filled with joy. If God gives you a child, will you come into motherhood with Sarah’s laughing joy?
Now, you’ve probably sung about Father Abraham, but we don’t talk about Mother Sarah that often; yet God’s promise to her was to be a mother of nations, as well. While reading about Sarah in the Bible, I came across a beautiful passage in 1 Peter 3.
“[Wives:] Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” (1 Peter 3:3-6, emphasis mine)
If Abraham is our father by faith (Rom. 4), then Sarah is our mother by example. Christian wives have become Sarah’s daughters by following her example of internal beauty, a gentle spirit, hope in God, and submission to their own husbands. Thus, Sarah had one physical son, whom she delighted in; but she has many daughters as gorgeous as herself. Dear woman, are you a daughter of Sarah? Are you developing godliness in your marriage, as much as depends on you?
Notice that Sarah’s motherly example toward Christian women is based on something in her life; but it is not based on her physical motherhood. It is based on her godly marriage. If you hope to be a godly mother if God gives you children, you must have a solid marriage. Learn this from Sarah, and do not waste your infertility! Use it as time to invest in your marriage. What kind of motherly influence of God-pleasing womanhood will you have on women who are not your daughters?
And many more….
There are many lessons to be learned from the men and women of the Bible who dealt with infertility. From these three examples, we’ve seen unwavering devotion, patient service, and gentle submission as a continuous theme; and these themes flow from the truth of Who God is. Dear woman, in your journey through the unpredictable waters of infertility, cling to the truth. Remember God’s faithfulness to those who have gone before.
And keep in mind that you are never alone.
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