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Three Exhortations for the Barren

There is no question about it: the woman that is struggling with infertility is a woman in waiting. She waits for the foreshadowing symptoms of pregnancy. She waits for answers to her many medical questions. She waits for many things, but there is something beautiful in the waiting that God has designed for her; I pray that she would not miss it.


Wasting the Wait

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14


Many Biblical characters were grown into great men and women of faith through their waiting experiences: Abraham, Moses, David, John the Baptist, Paul, and many others stand out as those who waited in the wilderness. If you are in your own kind of fertility wilderness, God has led you here to grow your faith in Him; that is a fact.

The problem is not with God—it is with us; if we are focused on ourselves, we will waste this opportunity to grow—this time of waiting. So, how can we keep from spiraling into despair and wasting the wait? 


1. Practice your Faith.

In the previous post, we looked at God’s character as it relates to our fertility. Have you spent time thinking about Who He is, based on what the Bible says? You see, that is where faith begins; it is not something that we conjure up inside our own hearts, but it is our hearts’ response to the truth about God. We believe Him. We trust that He is in control. We know that He is good. We believe that He is kind and loving, because He told us so in His Word. That, my friend, is faith.

How do we practice this faith? Keep reading the Word; you cannot grow apart from that. Throughout your day, consider the Scripture you have read, applying it to each situation. Talk to your Heavenly Father in prayer; tell Him about your feelings and ask Him to show you what He wants of you. And then, release your worries into His hands.

If you think that this exhortation sounds like something that applies to all Christians, you are right! Essentially, dear woman, whether you are a mother or not, you must follow Christ, just like any other Christian.


2. Practice your Service

Faith always leads to obedience, and one of God’s commands we are to obey is to serve. Taking our eyes off ourselves and turning them toward others in service is a great way to cure our self-pity and anxiety.

So, stop reading right now, where you are, and take a look around. That’s right. Look for an opportunity to serve.




Did you look around? What or whom did you see? Maybe you saw someone younger than you who needs teaching, counseling, friendship, or guidance. Maybe you saw a co-worker or boss who doesn’t know the Lord. Maybe you saw a project around the house or ministry at church that needs some attention. These are opportunities for you to serve.

Or perhaps, woman in waiting, you saw your husband. Is he tired? Lonely? Unappreciated? Wondering if you will love him with or without the baby you want? He is an opportunity to serve. Once a baby comes, your marriage will have a new strain; is your marriage ready for that? Take advantage of the waiting time to grow in your friendship with your husband.


“Through love, serve one another.” Galatians 5:13


3. Practice your thankfulness.

In the previous post of this series, we looked at the truth that God is good. Practicing our faith in God’s goodness will result in our thankfulness for the good gifts He has given us. Dear woman, have you thanked Him for them? 

Perhaps in this time of waiting, He wants you to develop a spirit that does not demand its own way, but is thankful for everything it has. Often, our lack of children can lead us into bitterness and unthankfulness, but it doesn’t have to be that way! I cannot encourage you enough to consider the wonderful aspects of your life. When you become especially bogged down in your frustrated longing for a baby, take out a paper and pen and walk through your house, listing all the good things you have been given from God. Read over the list, asking God to teach you thankfulness. 


When Persistent Prayer meets Surrender:

One of the most encouraging passages in the Bible involves Paul’s struggle with the thorn in his flesh. Because he had amazing spiritual experiences, he admitted that he tended toward pride and self-exaltation. God’s solution? Something negative; something hard; something that, although Paul doesn’t describe exactly what his pain was, caused him much grief. In fact, he brought it before the Lord three times, begging for it to be removed! God’s answer is surprising.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” 2 Cor. 12:9 

We can learn many things from this passage:


    Paul took his issue up with the only One Who could help him: God.

    Paul was honest about his sin and was quick to recognize its connection to his hardship.

    God told Paul exactly what he needed to hear.

    God did not take away the problem, nor did He promise to do so someday. 

    Paul surrendered to God’s choice, turning his praying into praising.


What about you, woman in waiting? Are you taking your issue up with God rather than railing on your poor husband? Have you confessed any sinful attitudes or desires within your heart? Have you continued in prayer for your difficulty? Have you accepted God’s truth as what you need at this time? Have you surrendered to His will, whatever it may be, with a worshipful heart? 


None of this is to say that it will be easy; but it is to say that, by the grace of God, you can live abundantly in spite of it. Maybe, dear woman, even because of it.


Lean into His grace.



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Written by Abby


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