Skip to main content

How to Show Love as a Single Woman




To begin, let’s point out the obvious: There’s more to love than romance.

While a healthy relationship between a man and a woman is certainly a beautiful and God-glorifying thing, some women are just never intended to experience this aspect of love. But even if you never do, there’s no reason why you can’t experience true love to the fullest extent as God intended you to know.

God is the Author of love, and He shows love to us in so many different ways! First and foremost, He gave up His Son to die for us so that our sins may be forgiven, that our fellowship would be restored with Him. What’s more, He revealed Himself through His Word so that we can know just how much God loves us. He lovingly created us in His image, He deals with us in loving patience, He disciplines us because He loves us, He tells us to give Him all our cares because He cares for us… The list can go on and on!

We cannot ever complain that “I am single, therefore I will never know what love is like.” No man’s love could ever stand up to the standard that God has already set! He has already proven His love to us, but we cannot simply hoard the love that He has given us. He wants us to give back what He has abundantly given to us. In fact, He said that “love” is the mark that identifies us to the rest of the world as His children. He has commanded us to love one another.


But how can we do it?


First, we need to set a realistic description of “love”. It’s not a vague fuzzy-feeling that you get when someone flirts with you, nor is it determined by whether you end all your phone calls with “I love you!” before you hang up.

Love is a definite, concrete, attainable attribute. A great description of it can be found in 1 Corinthians. Here’s how the Apostle Paul defined it:

               "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all the mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
               "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
               "Love never fails. . . But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love."


Consider the positive evidences of love that Paul pointed out:
                Patient
                Kind
                Rejoices with the truth
                Bears all things
                Believes all things
                Hopes all things
                Endures all things

Contrast those points with what does not evidence love:
                Jealous
                Brag
                Arrogant
                Act unbecomingly
                Seek its own
                Provoked
                Take into account a wrong suffered
                Rejoice in unrighteousness


I don’t know about you, but when I read the first list I immediately think of the fruits of the Spirit. The evidence of God working in your life will display itself in your thoughts, words, and actions and will showcase love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I would think it would be safe to say that you cannot have true love without the Spirit in your life. Without Him, all of these things are impossible for us to attain. When we receive Him, He brings all of Himself into our lives and enables us to live through the power of the Holy Spirit. He is how we attain love.

Paul began that passage by explaining why love is important. If anything we do is not done in love, we’ve wasted our time, our effort, and our energy. Everything we do ought to be steeped in God’s love, and as I’ve already said, it’s not a feeling.

Love is considering others as more important than ourselves. Love is encouraging and edifying for the sake of building others up. Love is the willingness to put aside your plans for the sake of helping someone else complete theirs. Love is helping those who are in need, being submissive to your authorities, being obedient to the Word, keeping alert in prayer, teaching others all things pertaining to life and godliness…


Love is knowing the Word and living it out in our daily lives.


It’s quite simple, yet so incredibly necessary for all of those who belong to Christ.
But let’s explore this concept further by seeing how we can apply it to our daily lives:

To keep things simple, you will only need to be showing love to two receivers: God and others. You should specifically be focusing on loving believers. Here are some ideas on how you can be showing love to God and to others.

Ways to show love through your thoughts:

1. Be in prayer for your family, your friends, or anyone who the Lord has laid on your heart. God has called us to pray for all men everywhere; and since He has also commanded that we pray continually, you never have to worry about praying for the wrong person at the wrong time.

2. Focus on the things that are good. Let your mind dwell on thoughts that are pure and glorifying to God. What you think will translate into your actions, so if your thinking is set in the positive, your actions will start to reflect that.
                
3. Think well of others. It is not our job to judge people for what we consider to be faults, whether that person looks funny, smells bad, or always seems to be rude to you. (However, if that person is acting out in blatant, obvious sin, that should not be dismissed. Don’t get confused over that.)
                
4. Trust God. Don’t question the circumstances that you find yourself in. Don’t be pointing your finger at God in anger or questioning His goodness in your frustration. He’s in control, and He’s promised that He will complete His work in you and He will never leave you or forsake you.

Ways to show love through your words:

1. Say words of grace. Say what is edifying (what builds up) and appropriate for the moment. Don’t try to conjure up a bunch of fluffy feel-good compliments, but say words to others that are genuine. Try speaking Scripture to them and see what happens!
                
2. Say words of comfort. Everyone is hurting, just as much as you are in their own way in their own circumstances. Let your words be gentle and calm, and you may show to those hurting people that you care about them.
                
3. Say words of thankfulness. There’s a big movement right now in “showing gratitude” that has stormed the new-agers. They are close to being right with this, but they’ve left God out of the picture completely. You give thanks because He has given you a reason to be thankful. You can tell Him thank-you, and let whatever you say be in a spirit of thankfulness.
                
4. Say/sing words of praise. God is so good! Tell people about it! And you don’t have to wait until you’ve been casted in a musical to sing about it, either. I remember a very particular time when I was struggling with some difficult memories, and my dear Abby sang Scripture to me. It was appropriate for my struggle, and it stuck in my mind in a way that simply speaking would not have done.

Ways to show love through your actions:

1. Give. Whether it’s money, time, a listening ear, a special gift, a card, or a much-needed hug; be aware of the needs of those around you and show them love by providing what you can. You don’t necessarily have to go out looking for a hurting person: your closest friends are sometimes the ones who would benefit most from your gifts since you would be most familiar with their needs. You don’t have to wait for a holiday, or even for their whole world to collapse in their hands. It’s simply thinking of others and putting them first, even if you can’t find a good ‘excuse’ to do it.
                
2. Smile. This is especially a great way to show love to anyone and can be done under any circumstances! Such a simple gesture can encourage so many people in ways that we may never know about.
                
3. Laugh. Not at people, but with people. Make their hearts glad! It’s refreshing for the soul to be able to enjoy a few moments of pure happiness, and often times we don’t get it enough. You don’t need to have a great sense of humor or a witty mind, just be willing to lighten the mood and give someone some rest from their struggles.


I hope this has peaked your interest a little bit in finding how you can show love to God and to the people around you. There are so many more ways that love can be displayed in your life, so go on out and find them!

In Christ
-Megan

Comments