You may be very familiar with this phrase too. As I've gone to work it has floated in the back of my mind, at home it shadows me. Everywhere I seem to go and everything I do brings this phrase back to mind and I can't get it out of my head.
Have you ever had an experience like that with a Bible verse or phrase? Something hits you so hard that you can't forget it if you wanted to. This is how this verse sat with me, sometimes I wanted to forget it but I couldn't get it out of my head. I heard it, but sometimes it made me angry to remember.
Let me introduce you to this verse. You can find it in James 4:2, and it says, "You do not have because you do not ask."
You've probably experienced many of the same feelings and frustrations that I have faced. You may remember a specific time that you felt abandoned by your closest friends. You may have felt defeated by a sin that kept pulling you into the temptation. Maybe you felt like a failure when you compared your life to your peers or family because you never managed to pick up a husband or couldn't achieve good grades or a fancy degree. Maybe you lost your job, a family member, or an opportunity that you so desperately desired.
In all these things and more I cried out to God, trying to understand. I begged for strength and for comfort. I became angry when I felt like God wasn't listening to my prayers. They were not being answered in the way that I thought was best, I began to spiral in a confused mess of depression. I was a failure of a Christian, surely God didn't love me anymore because He would not give me victory over that sin, He would not let me keep my job, He would not allow me to be surrounded with friends. When I cried out for help, that help would not come.
But that phrase still haunted me. "You do not have because you have not asked."
But I was asking! I was begging! Why was God not listening? What was I doing wrong? Can I do nothing right, is God trying to make my life more difficult than it already is?
These are thoughts that I struggled with, I am ashamed to admit. Maybe you have thought them too.
During a particularly difficult time, this phrase came back to mind. I thought about it a little harder, "You do not have because you have not asked."
I never asked God to help me. I never asked God for a husband. I never asked God for comfort or strength or that job or anything!
I demanded that God give me those things.
Thinking about it now, I am so very thankful that God is slow to anger and quick to mercy. I deserved some punishment for my headstrong and prideful prayers. I thought that I was praying with good intentions, but I was never willing to humiliate myself before my sovereign God.
All it took was a simple question. "God, would You please help me?"
By His grace He has helped me to understand a portion of what this verse is trying to convey. So often we come before His throne and demand His forgiveness, we demand His grace, we demand His answers. We seldom ask Him for these things.
I'll put this into a mental picture for you in case you are struggling with this concept still.
Imagine you, as a young adult, just learning to drive. One day you need to fill up your tank, but you don't have the money to do it. You approach your father and say, "Dad, please give me twenty dollars. I need it to fill up my tank."
Now, some fathers might be nice enough to give it to you. But imagine saying instead, "Dad, would you be able to spare a twenty? My tank is almost empty and I don't have the money for it. I really need your help!"
The attitude of the two phrases is different. In American culture, we are taught that it is polite to add a "please" to a request. But just because you said "please" doesn't mean you actually asked a question. Just like if a teacher tells his students to "please sit down and listen up", he's not really asking them to do those things. He is commanding them to do so, but in a polite way.
Do you tend to politely demand God to answer your requests, or do you humble yourself to actually ask? Just switching my mental approach to my prayers has helped me immensely.
Although I still do not have a husband, or that particular job, or that really awesome opportunity, I know that He is listening to my prayers. He has answered so many others that are more important.
I asked Him for contentment in my singleness and He gave it to me. I asked for a new job and He gave it to me. I asked Him for a house to live in and He gave it to me. I ask Him daily to lead me and fill me with His Spirit, and He always gives it to me!
This is not a magical approach or some kind of "secret ingredient" to prayer. For me, it was a simple mindset change from pride to humility because it is humbling to ask. Regardless of the answers to your prayers, I promise that God is listening. Better yet, God promised that He is listening. He said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Regardless of how you feel, God still loves you. He is answering your prayers. He is listening to your requests.
But how are you asking them? Are you willing to humble yourself before Him?
In Christ,
Megan
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